Being Transparent.

Today's post is actually kinda hard. I have spent the last few months trying to overcome pride issues within myself. Some were easy to overcome, and others.....well, not so much. I think part of the problem is that you can't overcome some pride issues without airing yourself out. So today, to all my cyber-friends, I am kicking the cobwebs out of my soul.

The majority of my life I have been a little hesitant to follow authority. It's not that I don't respect authority, but I ...for some unknown reason.....feel like I know an even better way to do things. I believe that is called "Strong Willed." For years I have felt like I am a bad person. And on occasion, been made to feel like a bad person. Only after having my own strong willed child have I come to understand, and even witness, that there is a special responsibility given to those of us with strong wills. Tatum is my strong willed child. She makes me crazy at times trying to convince her that MY WAY IS THE RIGHT WAY! (There it is again! :)) But only through being her mom have I had to accept and work on my un-bendable will. I have really had to search for God's will and bend mine to fit his.....the hardest part, btw. I am so thankful that all the "tiffs" that Tatum and I get into are only helping me understand where I fit into God's plan.

Another area I am trying to be better in is prayer. Our Sunday morning ladies class has been talking about prayer, and I thank Kim Trujillo for taking on this sometimes daunting task. Kim has been encouraging us to pray in different ways and to get out of our prayer ruts. I am SOOOO guilty of the generic "Thanks for all you do" prayers. I have spend the better part of the last few years, telling people I would pray for them, and then forgetting to actually do it. One of my "not-so-new-year- resolutions" was to stop telling people I was praying for them, and actually do it. I want to be better about lifting others up to God....for no reason. I don't want to wait until someone is on their deathbed to ask God to give them peace. I want to pray about people as they pop into my head. I have been doing just this for the last month. I can't even begin to tell you the mood it puts me in. There have been people that I dedicate the day to praying for, that later on either that day or that week, have said that they were sure someone was praying for them, because there was no way they would have made it. ( Little goose bumps? That would be God.) I am so thankful that God has made me aware of this downfall in my life, I have really been enjoying my time with my Father.

Kind of along the same lines as prayer for others.....I want to be a "Bedside Prayer Warrior." I want to sit beside my children when they are asleep and put my hands on them and pray SPECIFICALLY for them and things in their lives past, present and future. This is THE only time they are still and I should take advantage of this time to focus on them.

I wanted to put this post out there for everyone to see so they can keep me accountable. Please ask me how my prayer life is. Ask me if I am allowing myself to bend towards God. Ask when the last time I prayed over my kids was. I am changing for the better. My hope is you will recognize areas in your life where you might need to change a little (or alot) and tell someone.

When the inside is whole then, and only then, can I be complete.