Scratch it off the List of Places to Go Ever Again

I have debated for a week whether or not to post about an experience I had at the Hearing Center last week. It is HORRIBLY embarrassing, but I decided that it's too funny not to share.

We had been noticing for some time that Tatum was having a hard time hearing out of her right ear. So, I took her to the doctor, and he recommended that we have her hearing tested at Triplet Hearing Center in Clinton. So, I made the appointment.

About and hour before her appointment I had eaten a few donuts. (Those of you on Face Book may recall the status update regarding donuts! :)) They didn't sit will in my stomach, but nothing that I couldn't handle.

I went and picked Tatum up from school and we made our trek across town to the Hearing Center. We got there early so I could fill out all the paperwork. While I was filling it out, I got really nauseated, so I grabbed a cup of water from the water cooler. I sipped water, cup after cup after cup, hoping that I would feel better, but no luck.

When they called us back to the exam room, I felt better when stood up. I decided then, that I wasn't going to sit down. While in the exam room , I felt a little queasy so I excused myself to go to the bathroom. No excitement there so I went back to the exam room.

When I get back into the room, the doctor asks Tatum what she is supposed to put into her ear. It's a trick question, you aren't supposed to put anything in your ear. Did I know that? NO, I look stupid and say, "Only your finger!" The doctor says, "No, mom, only your elbow!" He proceeds to talk about how you can put your finger in your nose, your mouth and eyes..."You can dig in those only...not your ears!" He, without taking a breath, then looks at Tatum and asks, "What does your daddy do?"
Tatum, still on the "digging" conversation, looks puzzled and answers, "Digs in his bottom?"

I could die.

The doctor got a really big laugh at that.

When it's time to go to the hearing test room, we all trek to the back of the office. Meanwhile, my sick stomach is getting worse. We are almost done with the test, and it hits me like a load of bricks....I am going to throw up. I bolt out of the room mumbling something along the lines of..."gonna puke...." I made it about half way down the hall to the bathroom, and realize that I am NOT going to make it to the front of the building. I decide to go back to the room that we were in first because there was a trash can in there. So I dart into the exam room, only to trip over the doctors stool and land on my stomach....and roll across the room....while throwing up on EVERYTHING!!!! I tried to get to the trash can, but it had one of those pop-up lids....that wouldn't work. (Can you picture it? Are you laughing yet?) So, I manage to hit just about everything in the office. I turn to look at the door and there stands Eden.....with the most disgusted look on her face. I tell her to close the door. She takes off and I hear her tell the doctor, "My mom threw up on the WHOLE office!!!"

At this point I am frantically looking for paper towels and spray!! Luckily, I found some under the sink. I DID in fact get the exam room cleaned up. But it took awhile. I didn't want to come out, but I figured that the doctor had been babysitting my kids long enough. When I did finally come out of the exam room, the doctor and receptionist were talking about me being sick....they thought I was pregnant. I assured them it was donuts,not a child, that made me sick.

So, a review:
*Tatum tells said Doctor that David "digs in his butt" for a living.
*Bethany pukes ALL over the exam room.
*We will never again be able to go to Triplet Hearing Center.....ever.

The End